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Stocks & Blondes
Master Critic Review
Stocks & Blondes
8.3
Vibes:
Cheap Eats Budget Brilliance
Comfort Food Classics
Sports Bar Central
Solo Dining Sanctuaries
Stocks & Blondes is a no-frills Loop bar where the griddled burgers and patty melt have a loyal downtown following. It’s a go-to for affordable, filling burger plates before a train home or after a long day in the office towers nearby.
Must-Try Dishes:
Patty Melt, Cheeseburger with bacon, Sweet potato fries
Scores:
Value: 9
Service: 7.4
Consistency: 8.6
Food Quality: 8.4
Atmosphere: 6.3
Cultural Relevance: 8.1
What makes it special: A downtown tavern where the patty melt and burgers overdeliver for the price.
Who should go: After-work regulars chasing cheap, satisfying burgers.
When to visit: Post-work hours before the late-night bar crowd peaks.
What to order: Patty Melt, bacon cheeseburger, sweet potato fries.
Insider tip: Grab a bar stool for faster service and a better shot at catching the game on TV.
Logistics & Planning
Parking: Street parking is scarce in the Loop; expect paid garages or nearby surface lots, especially during office hours.
Dress code: Casual — office wear, jeans, and hoodies are all common.
Noise level: Moderate to loud during after-work hours; generally conversational earlier in the day.
Weekend wait: Typically no long wait — crowds are lighter on weekends in the Loop.
Weekday lunch: Short waits possible during peak office lunch rush, but you can usually find a seat.
Dietary Options
Vegetarian options: Limited — a few non-burger items and sides may work, but it’s primarily a burger-focused menu.
Vegan options: Very limited — vegan diners may struggle to find a full meal option.
Gluten-free options: No dedicated gluten-free program; buns and fryers are not guaranteed gluten-safe.
Good to Know
Is this good for a first date? Better for a casual hang than a romantic first date — it’s a straightforward tavern setting focused on burgers and bar energy.
Can I get a table without a reservation? Yes — seating is first-come, first-served, and walk-ins are the norm, especially outside peak after-work windows.
Is it kid-friendly? Generally adult-leaning due to bar atmosphere; fine for older teens during daytime or early evening, but not ideal for young children.
Best For
Better for: Affordable, no-nonsense burger plates and a reliable patty melt in a classic Loop tavern setting.
Skip if: You want chef-driven burgers, extensive craft beer lists, vegan or gluten-free options, or a quieter, more polished dining room.